Karyna Samets, MSN, RN

My story?

I don’t even know. It’s pretty ordinary, but it has meaning. It has meaning for me. So I’ll share it.

 

I was born in Grodno, Belarus, and lived there until I was seven. I grew up in a communal building with my best friends as neighbors. I distinctly remember refusing nap time in first grade, so the teachers agreed to let me go home at that time. So I did, independently at seven.

 

Then we moved to the US. My parents, who spoke limited English, worked to provide for us. So after school, I got off the bus by myself and walked home. Shutting the doors, closing the blinds, and remembering to stay very quiet, as my parents told me to. I laugh as I write this, but I remember how much I loved melting cheese in the microwave and watching Clifford or Arthur. Ahh, the comfort of the Big Red Dog. I think I was lonely.

 

I felt pretty out of place in America. The kids were different. I can’t pinpoint it exactly, but something didn’t quite click. So I waited for my summers in Belarus. They were the highlight of each year- I felt at home there, with my grandparents, relatives, and childhood friends. Eventually, my now-husband and I began dating, which led to a five-year long-distance relationship and him moving to the States on a fiancé visa. Yes, the 90 Day Fiancé is a real thing.

 

Not to be a broken record, but growing up as an immigrant had its duties. I translated, facilitated, solved. I’d say being mature was a requirement, not a choice. So I grew up to be a pretty independent human, and I’m grateful for it. This fostered my strong will, courage, and a “nobody can fuck with me” mentality that’s stayed with me to this day. But I didn’t always feel strong within. Sometimes that was just a protective façade for a soft, sensitive part of me that I didn’t always feel safe expressing.

 

Because of certain family dynamics, I learned to read the room quickly. I learned to read people. I was always curious about why they are the way they are. I intuitively understood that there are personal, deep-rooted reasons why people behave certain ways, say certain things, or do certain things. Being empathetic was a great gift, yet sometimes led me to tolerate more than I should. But don’t worry, I’m older and wiser now. Thank you, therapy!

 

Throughout my teen years, I became a vegan and nearly drowned myself in books on nutrition, health, and weight loss (all the emotionally eaten melted cheese caught up with me). I followed YouTubers promoting healthy lifestyles, and that led me to discovering personal development. All in all, I was a wellness junkie.

 

I don’t want to brush over the pursuit of weight loss, as it’s been a major part of my life. Until recently, being overweight was tied to my self-worth and confidence. I was the fat girl. I have a fourth-grade class picture showing me as the biggest kid. It impacted my confidence, my friendships. Sometimes my own insecurity came out as criticism of other people. I’m not proud of that, but it’s part of my story.

 

My interest in wellness followed me into choosing a career. I thought I wanted to be a doctor, or dietitian, or naturopath. I believed in holistic wellness and root cause analysis. In retrospect, I was likely searching for my own answers. My own personal healing. Not physical, but soul-level healing. Not realizing it then, I wanted to help the little girl within me who didn’t love herself.

 

So, I settled on being a nurse practitioner. Figured I could work as a nurse while I got my NP degree. Throughout nursing school, though, it just didn’t sit right with me. Aside from labor and delivery, nothing called to me. I wasn’t excited. After graduating, I took a leap into the operating room. It didn’t let me down, but it still wasn’t it. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to devote my life to.

 

So I went back to school to pursue my original path of becoming an NP. About a year and a half in, it became heavy. Envisioning myself working as a nurse practitioner in the traditional setting made my chest tighten, and not in a good way. I truly hated it. That’s the word I used to describe my experience in therapy. But I kept pushing through because I didn’t know what else to do. That was the path I had chosen, so I should follow through… right?

 

Until one day my therapist said the words that would change the trajectory of my life: “You used the word ‘hate’ so many times to describe your experience. Is that really how you want to be living?”

 

I was dumbstruck. I hadn’t even considered an alternate path. I didn’t question my choices. They seemed so “pretty” at the time. I mean, come on, who would look down upon pursuing higher education? In medicine? The dream of any immigrant parent for their eldest daughter- financial success.

 

Spoiler: within two weeks, I quit the program and decided to simply complete my master’s in nursing since I already had the coursework. I still didn’t know what I would do, but I knew I’d figure it out.

 

The intensity of freedom and self-trust in that moment changed everything that came next.

I haven’t looked back since. A choice to quit school created space for finally developing a consistent gym routine, weight loss, a better marriage, deeper trust in myself, and a more peaceful life. One where I am an active participant. Not a passerby.

 

Through all of this, some things stayed consistent. My friends tease me that the moment I depart a hangout, they receive five podcast and book recommendations from me. Our time spent together usually consists of deep conversations about life, humanity, the mind, and philosophical tidbits. That’s just who I am. I have a low tolerance for small talk. It makes me shudder.

 

My bestie calls me “directorovna”—her own spin on “director.” I get to the point, and I get there firmly and quickly. No muddy waters or beating around the bush. I’m clear about what I want, and I own it. I’m passionate about encouraging others to be the directors of their lives. We’ve only got one, y’all. Or maybe more, if you believe in reincarnation. But that’s beside the point—let’s make this one count.

 

I wanted to impact humans on a personal level. The deep kind that transforms you from the inside out. And when I discovered coaching, everything clicked. I mean everything. It was like my soul was fluttering within me. So I enrolled in a nurse life coach certification program and said yes to the purpose I always knew I had, but didn’t have the words for.

That leads me to today. I’ve officially completed my certification and am writing the “my story” section for my website. What a surreal moment. Making sure to savor this. Because I’m doing the thing I want to be doing.

 

And that’s what I wish for you - to be doing the thing you want to be doing. To live an actively chosen life. Not one which happens to you, but to which YOU happen.

 

In all areas of your life. To fully own what you’re doing, confidently and wholeheartedly. In alignment with your true self. Not in alignment with the stories you’ve been told about who you should be.

 

If you choose this path for yourself, I’m honored to join you.